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A Guide to Sex Toys
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Table of Contents
- Anal Toys
- Toys for Men
- Safer Sex Supplies
- Miscellaneous Toys
- Cleaning Your Sex Toys
Sex toys can be a wonderful enhancement to lovemaking and a source of
truly spectacular pleasure. In this guide we identify and review what we
feel are the best toys in each category, and link to pages where you can
learn more about or purchase them. In each case, these links are to
"clean, well-lit" places with long-standing reputations for good
Plug-In Vibrators and Accessories
Hitachi Magic Wand
This plug-in vibrator is probably the best place to start. It has a soft,
round head that feels just lovely on your clit (or your feet, for that
matter...). It's far and away the most popular choice.
This attachment for the Hitachi Magic Wand (which also fits the
Rechargeable Wand) curves upward slightly so that it can be used for
penetration as well as G-Spot stimulation. Note: Another way to accomplish
the same thing is to use your vibrator without any attachments but
purchase the Wavy
G dildo or a Crystal Wand.
If you want a plug-in vibrator like the Hitachi Magic Wand but need it to
run almost completely silently, then this would be a good choice. It comes
with several attachments.
Battery-Powered and Rechargeable Vibrators
This is far and away the best of the rechargeable vibrators. It carries a
45 minute charge and can also be used while it is recharging. It
has the same basic shape as the Hitachi Magic Wand.
This vibrator's claims to fame are that it's small, portable, and waterproof
(i.e. so you can use it in a hot tub, bath, or
This Japanese vibrator has a somewhat complicated but effective design: a
rotating shaft vibrates and turns (the shaft has rolling, textured
"pearls" inside of it that feel just lovely at the entrance of
your vagina) while another part vibrates against your clit.
Mini Dolphin Vibe
This is a vibrator and harness combination that keeps a small
dolphin-shaped vibrator nestled against your clit while leaving both your
hands free. By moving one of its straps out of the way, you can enjoy it
at the same time you're enjoying intercourse with a partner (you could
also use one hand to press against the dolphin part and control the
intensity/focus of the sensations you're receiving).
The Fukuoko 9000
This is a tiny clitoral vibrator that fits over your finger. It's a
perfect way to unobtrusively work in a little clitoral stimulation during
intercourse with a partner (note: this works particularly well if you're
on all fours or in any other position where one of your hands has a little
extra freedom to move against your clit).
Vibrators are fun for almost everyone, but are especially popular amongst
women: using a vibrator clitorally is the easiest way for most women to
reach orgasm. Here are some basic tips for getting the most out of your
For those who want to take things to the next level, here are some advanced
- If you feel comfortable making a little noise, then you'll probably
find that letting yourself moan or sigh on your exhalations will improve
the whole experience. Moving or rocking your hips rhythmically, in time
with your breathing, can also make a big difference.
- If the vibrations are the right speed for you but seem too intense,
then you might try either draping a thin cloth between your clit and the
vibrator or else leaving a light article of clothing on. You can also try
moving the vibrator to the side of your clitoris rather than keeping your
vibrator directly on it.
- Just to see whether you prefer this sensation, try using lighter
pressure but moving the head of the vibrator on your clit, rather than
keeping it stationary and using heavy pressure.
Men can enjoy vibrators too. For men with female partners, one obvious
approach is for his partner to use a vibrator on her clit during
intercourse with him; the vibrations will also diffuse into his penis, a
sensation which some men really like. Men can also enjoy vibrators
without a partner: this is a fundamentally different experience than
masturbating with your hand, as (chances are) your penis will be semi-hard
through much or all of the experience rather than fully erect. However,
especially if you do the rhythmic breathing and pelvis rocking and PC
muscle contractions, you may find that you like the sensation a LOT.
Some men find they can reach pleasurable orgasms with a vibrator without
ever having a full erection.
- If you're already comfortable moving your hips in time with your
breathing, then try squeezing and relaxing your "PC" muscle (the same
muscle you squeeze to stop the flow of urine when you're urinating) in
time with your pelvic movements.
- Many women find that clitoral orgasms (e.g. from a plug-in vibrator
such as the Hitachi) feel especially good when accompanied by a little
penetration. The Wavy
G Dildo, the
Crystal Wand, and the Kegelcisor are
all popular choices.
- Some women find they can have multiple clitoral orgasms with their
vibrator. The secret is to back off on the pressure, keep the vibrator
moving, and avoiding direct contact with your clit until the energy builds
If you would like to learn more about vibrators but prefer to learn
visually, then you might enjoy watching the educational videotape Great
Vibrations by Carol Queen.
If you would like to learn more about sex toys in general, then we recommend reading a
copy of The
New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex.
Wavy G Dildo
This dildo has a very comfortable shape, including a graceful curve that
gives you a good angle to exert pressure on your G-spot if you wish.
It's made of silicone, a substance which is considered far superior to
rubber when it comes to sex toys; silicone dildos are simple to clean,
feel better, and retain body heat much better (note: just don't use them
with silicone-based lubes, like I-D Millenium or Wet Platinum or Eros).
Many women find this beautiful, S-shaped, clear lucite
dildo to be perfect for G-spot stimulation. It can also be used for
prostate stimulation, and comes with an instruction manual.
This cool steel dildo was designed to make it easier for women
to find and exercise their PC (pubococcygeal) muscles. The main
feature of this
toy is its weight; because it's heavier and made of smooth steel, you
can firmly press against it with your vaginal muscles without pushing it
out. It's featured in Betty Dodson's videotape Celebrating
Orgasm, in case you want to see how it's used. By the way,
this item is
more expensive than most sex toys because of its construction as well as because it's also sold to doctors as a medical device.
This versatile dildo has a hollowed-out area at
its base into which one can insert the (included) egg-shaped vibrator. This dildo can
also be used in a harness, and is made of silicone for extra comfort.
Our culture tends to put a lot of emphasis on intercourse, but
the best way to get started with anal play is with either
fingers or an anal toy such as this. Unlike dildos
meant for vaginal use, anal toys like this have a flanged
base so they can't accidentally slip all the way inside you. If you want a vibrating
you can press the head
of a plug-in vibrator against this toy's base. Men can tilt it
forward (i.e. towards the front of their body) if they want it to stimulate
the prostate gland.
These are toys that allow women and men to wear a dildo on their hips or
thighs to penetrate their lovers with, while leaving their hands free.
This is an excellent two-strap harness, notable for comfortably fitting
people with a wide variety of hip sizes. You'll probably want to purchase
a matching dildo
to go along with it.
Thigh One On
This harness straps onto your thigh rather than around your hips. Two
partners could each wear one and slide between each others' legs for
simultaneous penetration (note: this would almost certainly work better
than trying to use "double dildos," which nobody I've ever met seems
to have had any luck with...).
This is a water-based lube without Nonoxynol-9. Using lube can help make
vaginal or anal penetration of any kind feel much better.
This is another water-based lube without Nonoxynol-9. Liquid Silk has a
slightly different feel that some people prefer.
Cock rings cause a feeling of extra pressure in the penis when they're put
on at the base of the penis (the testicles go through them, so the ring is
between the testicles and the body). This model is adjustable and
Many men who have tried them all think these
latex condoms (without Nonoxynol-9) are the best. Two newer condoms that
have also been gathering great reviews are Pleasure
Plus and InSpiral.
Condoms should be used with used with water-based lube, such as Astroglide
These "female" condoms are an alternative to male
condoms for vaginal intercourse, and some people also prefer them to male
condoms for anal intercourse.
If you want to use a latex barrier for cunnilingus or
analingus, this is your best choice.
A fun toy for sensation or BDSM play.
Using wrist cuffs to restrain someone (i.e. in the context of consensual
BDSM play) is much easier than learning to tie knots, and
is safer than using metal handcuffs.
Here's what the folks at Toys in
Babeland have to say about cleaning your toys:
"Keep your toys clean with a little soap and warm water. If you want,
break out the hydrogen peroxide for that super clean feeling. Don't
submerge the part of a battery vibe that holds the batteries. Do not
submerge electric vibes at all.
The folks at Libida.com
have the following advice, based on the type of material the toy is made out
Leather harnesses can be cleaned with a damp rag, and nylon webbing
can go in the wash with the rest of your laundry.
Silicone dils and plugs can be boiled up to 3 minutes,
cleaned with a bleach solution, or run through your dishwasher. For more
delicate polymers stick to warm water and soap, and replace them every so
often, as they are impossible to keep perfectly clean.
Oil products destroy latex! That means oil-based lubricants, massage
oils, butter, olive oil...anything containing oil. Use only water-based
lubricant with latex."
Silicone: Vastly superior to rubber or vinyl dildos, silicone warms
up quickly, retains body heat, is non-porous and easy-to-clean.
Cleaning: Run it through the dishwasher or boil it on the stove
(3-5 minutes) and viola! -- your toy is sterilized.
If cleaning seems like too much of a pain and you still want to use
your toy with more than one person, you could always just put a latex
condom (or latex glove, in the case of some larger vibrators) over your
toy and discard the glove or condom when you're done. Rubber dildos are
porous and it isn't really practical to completely sterilize them, so you
should either put condoms on them if you're going to use them with
multiple people or switch to silicone dildos (which can be boiled to
disinfect them, as mentioned above).
Jellies: These dildos are made of a
translucent, soft, and flexible substance that looks like it contains air bubbles.
Cleaning: This material is a non-porous form of rubber that can be cleaned
with mild soap and hot water.
Rubber: Firm, flexible, and often heavy, rubber dildos are porous
and often need more care to clean than the average toy. Cleaning:
Rubber dildos should always be used with condoms, but can be cleaned with mild soap and
Cyberskin: This material is soft and supple, and looks and feels remarkably like skin.
Cleaning: Rinse with hot water, or disinfect by putting alcohol onto a
cloth and lightly rubbing (avoid soap or harsh detergents); to keep the
silky feel, sprinkle with cornstarch or talc.
Latex: Use only water-based lubes on latex, as oil-based
substances will break it down. Cleaning: Latex is non-porous and
easy to clean.
Vinyl: Vinyl toys are light in weight, easy to clean, and come in
many different forms and colors. Cleaning: Vinyl products are
non-porous, and can be washed with mild soap and hot water.
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